Sunday, August 2, 2009

Motivation & Burn Out

I think I've realized why I've been so lazy the past couple of weekends: I'm burnt out. While I do love being by the ocean and I enjoy a lot of people out here, I think I'm pretty ready to head back home to go ol' Indiana. This is not easy to write, as I know that once I get back to Indiana I'll miss California. But at the same time, I know it's the truth. There are definitely things that would have benefited from my staying around home this summer, but I do think it was good in the end to have returned to LA. The honeymoon phase is over and I can see the flaws out here, all the reasons why I should not live here for more than 2-3 months at a time. (Even that is pushing it.)

I am excited for school to start up; I'm excited for cross country, classes, being a tour guide, tutoring, living with Amanda in what's going to be the most awesome apartment on campus, getting Knit Knite + Knitting for Nets up and running on the web, and a whole slew of other projects. I am going to be so incredibly busy and it's going to be great.

I know I should be taking advantage of the last couple weeks out here (there is a lot going on) but I can't bring myself to leave the comfort of my room or the pool unless someone else is with me. Motivation for running is at an all-time low. I don't feel like biking for the heck of it like I did earlier this summer. I don't even feel like going around taking photographs (instant clue that I'm not totally with it!). The novelty of Los Angeles has worn off, I think. It's a shame. Also, the weather hasn't been nearly that good this summer, and I think that's taken its toll on me. I'm also just ready to get back to Midwest air with Midwest prices and Midwest friends. Don't get me wrong; I really do like LA, but 1. not when I don't have a car 2. not for these long stretches of time and 3. not when it's cloudy for more than half the time I've been here. I will for sure come back and visit (there are too many friendships I've made here that I would hate to see end), but I don't think I'll live here for extended periods of time.

Who knows, that might change. And if it does, awesome. If it doesn't, awesome to that too. Life is unpredictable and I'm not wanting to let myself get stuck somewhere. I want to go around and see other parts of the country, too.

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